By Gini Graham Scott Ph.D.

The possibility of clash exists in each interplay. but if one does not know the way to house those disagreements constructively, they could enhance into unproductive or even damaging occasions. the hot button is to not steer clear of clash, yet to acknowledge and deal with it skillfully to provide the very best consequence. during this robust and functional advisor, writer Gini Graham Scott exhibits readers tips to establish the cause of the clash, realize and keep watch over the emotional components, and locate the easiest answer. Written in an obtainable, conversational variety, full of real-life examples, and together with uncomplicated workouts and instruments to assist investigate clash events, this vital advisor exhibits readers tips on how to deal with no matter what existence throws at them.

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If possible, bring them out in the open to discuss them. Or if a discussion isn’t feasible, act in light of what you think those needs are to satisfy the other person. In turn, when you respond to the other’s true needs, you can develop a stronger, closer, more mutually satisfying relationship. Considering the other person’s needs doesn’t mean you should ignore your own, though there are times when the other person’s needs are so much stronger than yours that you need to put your own needs aside for a time to help that person work through the conflict.

Here the problem is you or the other person doesn’t have the necessary information or understanding. This leads to confusion and contributes to conflict. Or you or the other person are acting on wrong assumptions—frequently the source of humor in a romantic comedy, where the hero or heroine leaps to wrong conclusions about someone’s actions or intentions. This may ................. 16579$ $CH3 08-24-07 08:47:11 PS PAGE 24 U S I NG Y O U R R EA S O N ✧ 2 5 be very funny in a movie or play, but it’s not so funny when wrong assumptions lead to wrong actions producing real conflict in real life.

Lack of Trust. Another big trigger for conflict is lack of trust by either party. A key consideration here is whether the mistrust is justified. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it is based on false information or assumptions; so getting clarification can help to dispel this mistrust. On the other hand, if you don’t trust someone, you may fear to get the issue out in the open—and likewise, a person who distrusts you may fear an open discussion as well. So what to do? Knowing the Appropriate Strategies to Use Once you have an understanding of the issues, you can better determine what strategy to apply in a particular situation.

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